Random musings on Buenos Aires: Bums, child thieves, gym instructors and more

Some stories aren’t worth entire blog posts but that’s not to say they’re not worth mentioning. Here, a few vignettes from recent Buenos Aires life.

There is a homeless local man who has set up shop on one particular corner on the edge of our neighborhood, Palermo. But he is the most hooked-up bum I’ve ever seen. His nook is outfitted with two twin-size mattresses piled atop each other and a working TV, which he’s always watching when we pass. If he gets HBO, I might just complain to our landlord about our lack of channels.

Petty crime is rampant in Buenos Aires–I never leave my purse out of my vice-like grip–but it’s the blue collar kids who seem to instill the most fear. They frequently nag patrons sitting in al fresco areas of restaurants for money or just for fun. In the U.S., that would never (be allowed) to happen. But here, the locals seem hesitant to mess with these kids, so they put up with it. Example: Eaman, our friend Christine and I were having a merienda (tea time) outdoors when, all of a sudden, a rowdy little girl said something to us quickly in Spanish before usurping the squeeze bottle of dulce de leche from our table and downing a good portion of it. Our waitress meekly told the girl, “No, that’s not for eating.”

I love Buenos Aires and I love slow-paced life, but for the love of god, BA, can you please speed up the lines at the grocery stores? It doesn’t matter what time you go; 9 a.m., 3 p.m., 9 p.m.–it’s all painful.

If you follow us on Twitter, then you know we joined a gym to stay in shape. You may be wondering how we manage to take classes in full Spanish. Well, it’s a combo of becoming expert hand gesture intrepreters and being corrected a lot because we don’t know what they’re saying to correct us to begin with. When we’re not intensely studying hand motions or listening for “arriba” or “rapido,” we’re learning a lot about the Argentina gym system. For starters, classes rarely begin on time. Senor instructor arrives when the class is actually supposed to start and begins only after giving most of the class-goers a hello kiss. (At today’s kickboxing class, the instructor came up to me before we started, and it took what felt like five whole minutes to realize he was giving me a kiss hello.) While we’re on the subject of Spanish-speaking instructors: It’s hilarious to hear them sing along with the songs in English. It may have something to do with my kickboxing instructor, Andres, singing Paramore tunes. Last point: Girl who I saw working out with her trainer recently, lace tops have no place at the gym.

Of all shows for Argentina cable networks to play on repeat, why must they be Law & Order, Gossip Girl and The Big Bang Theory?! How about more than just one episode American Horror Story for a change? Or if you really want to get on my good side, some Parks and Recreation?