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When the nagging life questions bug you on the road… | New York to Nomad
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When the nagging life questions bug you on the road…

Posted by on November 10, 2011
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It’s hard to believe that it’s already been three weeks since we plunked down in Buenos Aires. In that time, we found a beautiful apartment, visited the famous Sunday San Telmo market, tried pizza at one of the city’s most famous pizzerias (it wasn’t that good), toured the Recoleta cemetery where Eva Perron is buried, visited the opulent El Ateneo Grand Splendid bookstore housed in an old theater, went to a soccer match between two local club teams and have made some great connections with new friends.

Playing dead at the Recoleta cemetery:


San Telmo market:


El Ateneo:


But we’ve also done a whole lot of less marquee activites, too. We eat, we read, we watch Netflix, we walk around our neighborhood, we buy fresh pasta for dinner, we sit on our balcony, we people-watch. It kind of feels like we’re living normal daily lives in New York without jobs–or an income. (That’s partly because we’re staying in one place for an extended period of time and partly because Buenos Aires doesn’t really have sights to see.)

Sitting in a cafe, eating an alfajor cookie and reading my Kindle — isn’t that the life? Well, if you’re anything like me — someone who struggles with enjoying the present, someone who’s always putting pressure on herself to be doing “something” — then you know that living in Buenos Aires, when not total paradise, has been somewhat of a test for me.

In Peru, the odd day off from hiking or sightseeing was welcome. I savored every minute of it. In BA, I’m pretty spoiled with free time, and the change has been, frankly, a little jarring. I know what you’re thinking. You brat. I’m sitting in my cubile, you’re drinking cafe con leches in Buenos Aires, and you have the nerve to complain?! I know, I know.

I have a bad habit of only looking forward. Even before this RTW trip, I had to constantly remind myself to enjoy New York rather than pine for the year ahead. I’m also quick to compare myself to others. I could be doing the coolest thing in the world, but in my weaker moments, I’ll somehow find a way to think what you’re doing is cooler. (I’m terrible, I know!) Not only that, I thrive on schedules, organization and compartmentalizing. It really just comes from my drive to win, win, win. (Thanks for that, rigorous Cherry Hill East High School and career-driven Northwestern University!)

This trip is essentially the exact opposite of me. But that’s also why this trip is so important. The goal is to relax. Isn’t insane that I actually have to work on that?

I’ve had a few days recently when all I could think about was what life will be like when I get back to the States. Where will I work? I miss fashion, so maybe I should get back into that. Oh, maybe I should just peruse a couple job openings. Gosh, look at what this person and that person are doing now. All I’m doing is eating croissants; she’s getting ahead in life! It’s not that I felt that I made a mistake in coming on this trip, but I couldn’t help but look at the grass on the other side of the fence…just for a minute.

I thankfully snapped out of my rut after talking to some of the expat friends we’ve made here in BA. (Having the time to build relationships has been such an amazing part of this chapter.) They, too, know what it feels like to get that nagging “what am I doing??” feeling. We all agreed it’s just a very American way of thinking, and having grown up in the system, it’s not easy to dismiss those gravitational pulls. And we also agreed that we shouldn’t be ashamed of eating croissants and — not to get all New Age on you but — simply living life.

Being in a new country has introduced us to a whole new way of thinking. There isn’t just one way to live life. We met a man in his 50s, who has been backpacking for two and a half years. We met a 30-something who is salsa-, tango- and bachata-ing his way through South America. We met a Norwegian-French couple who is moving to Brazil just because they want to. And so that’s why I’ve been feeling so conflicted. My brain is getting wind of this new lifestyle but is still so accumstomed to the American mentality. It’s very confused.

So, it’s a work in progress. I’m learning to sit still, stop thinking too much about the future, and do nothing only to realize that it’s still something. And fret not, I’m completely high on life 99% of the time. It’s just that 1% that stops me in my tracks occasionally. The good to come out of it, though, is time for a little self-reflection. And to borrow from the Hokey-Pokey, that’s what it’s all about.

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6 Responses to When the nagging life questions bug you on the road…

  1. Amy Chen

    You can have my cubicle!

  2. cristina

    As one of your expat Argentine friends, I know how you feel :) Seriously, why is it so hard to live and enjoy the present? I constantly have to remind myself that doing this (whatever this is.. perhaps, eating 4 facturas for breakfast as I did this morning) is enjoyable, and what I wanted, and something that I should appreciate (but in the case of facturas, not do everyday!). I’m sure those feelings will come back, but it seems like writing this post helped you get over the first hump :) x

    • Eaman & Archana

      Yes, it definitely helps to write it out! Indian food and girl talk is another good way to vent :)

  3. Alok

    If you can get rid of that nagging feeling that you “should” be doing something, or worrying about what that other person is doing, then your trip has been well worth it. All the perspective you gain through traveling, if you travel with an open heart and open mind, will pay dividends for the rest of your personal and professional lives. I was able to go back and read your whole blog today and I am very excited for you, especially you Archana. As a writer your stock in trade is perspective.

    • Eaman & Archana

      You’re absolutely right, Alok. This is one of the biggest things I want to get out of this next year, and I feel really lucky that I got to take some time out to focus on that. I already feel like a bit of a different person, so I can only imagine who I’ll be 10 months from now. Thanks for reading and thanks for your encouragement. It’s always nice to hear from my adoptive Patel family :)

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